Personal Thoughts

Since yesterday until today, most of the people I talked to

were talking about the life after marriage.
The sad thing is...most of the stories I heard is bad,
in fact...is all negative.

Imagine the messages they are trying to tell me are...
Men cannot be trusted.
Dating, courtship and marriage are the steps to hell.
Couples change after 20 years of marriage.
......

I had this conversation with my aunty during dinner.
Aunty: So, did your parents talk?
Me: Ya...they talked loudly.
Aunty: LOL...true, I miss the days when your dad is in Klang.
At least that time your mom only shout at your bro.

By looking at the men of my family...
My grandfather, uncles, (maybe a little bit) my dad,
they are all examples of the-effect-of-marriage.
It actually encourages my aunty not to get married,
and somehow affect me a little bit. (since I'm quite close to my aunty)

My grandpa is typical Asian man.
Men are always superior than women.
Woman is supposed to listen to the man,
follow them, and do whatever a woman should do in a family.
It sounds like a slave or a maid to me.
Looking at my grandma, she did a great job in bringing up the children in the family
(as a mother).
Unfortunately, the father of the family shaped the personalities of the children,
as in very tough personalities.

My uncles have the chance to further their studies to University level,
and do whatever they like.
But my mom and aunty weren't that lucky.
Maybe my mom is a little bit better since she is the eldest among her siblings.
Mom wanted to be a nurse, but grandpa doesn't approve.
So mom ended up studying accountancy and work after she graduated.
My aunty is the youngest in the family,
grandpa actually expect my aunty as a son when my grandma was pregnant.
Being the youngest girl in the family,
she have to help my grandma to do house chores.
She was scolded and slapped by my grandfather when she came home late from school,
because she was late to do the house chores.
She was waiting to be away from home,
so after she graduated from secondary, she works, earns and living alone.
Unbelievable huh?

For me, being the listener for my family members since I'm young untill now,
I have developed the skill of listening and also patience.
When someone is angry and frustrated, they need to voice it out other than acting it out.
If act it out, that will cause physical pain especially to the ones you love.

Listened too much cause headache too.
Sometimes, it changes your point of view on certain issues.
A good example, my view on marriage.

There are too many breakups, quarrels, divorce, disowning someone in the family,
affairs, backstabbing.....etc
that happened among the spouse, siblings and family members.

To sum up...
No one is perfect.

Listening to my parents quarrels, sometimes make me wonder...
don't they already knew the lesson?
Can you have a little bit more patience towards your spouse?

Then I remembered someone told me this.
When people said, be honest to your spouse, people end up having more quarrel than usual. This was because they have too many to complain about the other half.
When people said, be patient to your spouse, people end up repressing the uncomfortable feeling towards their spouse by saying that they are alright and okay...
Running away from the problem, hopping that your spouse will realize their wrong doing in future.
I believe that the second situation is even worse,
there is always a limit for patience.
Things get worse when it happened out of the limit.

There are too many thoughts in my mind,
and they all changing from time to time.

Being a listener,
I'm just like a sponge.
There is too much liquid inside of me.
Sometimes I need someone to squeeze me,
as in a hug for comfort.
A sun to get rid of the unwanted liquid.
Having another sponge or maybe a friend like Patrick to share.

This is not an emo post.
Is just...
some inspirations I got from the conversations with my family?
I know...there are a lot of inspirations....
haha...

me~Fishie